I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I deserve this hangover.
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