i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
