everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
