Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
