i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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