Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you never un-have a 4some
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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