So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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