he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
