Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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