Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
