It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
