all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
