I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
