He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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