i don't like sucking hair
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
