I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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