: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
