I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drake has all the answers
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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