If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
