I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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