I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
