just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
