I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
is it fun? or sober?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
