u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
