my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
