I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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