the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
