omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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