your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
