I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
