Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
