Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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