I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
