I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
