i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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