are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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