im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
