She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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