I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
