Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
