I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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