Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
