Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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