dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
