how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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