it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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