i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
