Cold hands, warm shart.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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