i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
