come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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